First Social Worker Meeting
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By Michelle Thompson in About an Adoption Published: Monday, 07 May 07 - 11:53 AM (GMT) Last Updated: Monday, 07 May 07 - 12:24 PM (GMT) |
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On Friday of last week, we had our first in-house pre-assessment. She'd rung up twice during the week, at times where we were both at work, so when she finally rang during the early evening, I had to grab the opportunity to have her come around. My husband was already working from home that Friday, and I had the afternoon off.
She arrived slightly earlier than the appointment time, and left well over two hours later. She's recommending us to go forward, but after that initial grilling into particularly my own family background, I was in tears on several occassions that afternoon, and seriously considering pulling out of the whole thing - it's just so intrusive.
Adopters who have managed to get through that process for several months, and come out still prepared to take on a looked-after child, get my full respect. We dwelled so much on my past family experiences, that the last seven years of my life - with my dear husband and daughter, appeared to be of little consequence. I found it emotionally huge, and pondered over all my dire old memories for the next day or so. Taking this on is going to be the biggest and possibly worst mission of my life.
My hubbie came out of it, feeling all ready for that next child. He took us out to celebrate that evening, perhaps also so that I could pull myself out of the emotional tangle the questions had put me into also.
But we appeared to get through it, to the next step. We have a few things we have to do, though. There's a questionnaire form we need to fill out - and the social worker suggested we should have someone we can speak to, who has adopted before (nevermind the fact I was adopted myself) and as this was not available within our own support network, it could be helpful if we did it virtually.
Um, does she realise how many websites there are out there now, many of which I've already researched my way around -
- AdoptionUK (this is an offsite from the big international adoption.org) with lots of links to UK websites. Downloadable fact sheets on some things to do with adoption. AdoptionUk has forums, an online Childrens advertising thing, and a lot to offer - again at a cost of around the £40+ mark to subscribe. Thankfully, the forums are free to register with.
- Be My Parent - this is one of those advertising newspapers which advertise children ready for adoption. They are opening up a website this month. Unfortunately, the magazine itself costs £42 to subscribe to - and for people like us who have not, as yet, even got through the big assessment, there appears little point in reading about lots of children we will want to parent.
- BAAF - the British Association for Adoption and Fostering - links to other sites, and first information for us all. BAAF are the people who provide those huge forms we have to undergo for our assessment.
- Adopting.com - international site, referred to by the UK sites. Includes a list of some forums, but not any linked with the U.K.
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| Brings back memories... | amanda | 05/14/07 |
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Top | Reply to this Title: Brings back memories... Author: amanda Date Posted: 14 May 2007 02:50 AM (GMT) I don't know you, was brought to your site by another blogger, saw the word adoption and was intrigued. Reading your blog brings back so many memories that at the time seemed like they were never going to get past a certain point. Thank God our Social Worker was so incredible and perfect. I remember looking at my spouse and wondering how anybody got through this process and I also wondered why EVERYBODY did not have to go through the same process! Can you imagine if everybody had to go this process to just get pregnant? I tell you, there would be a lot less babies for sure! Sorry to rant, I just remember the emotional turmoil I felt while going through that part of the process. I am so proud to say that I am a mother to a beautiful 4 1/2 year old boy who is God's blessing to us. He is perfect in every way and it was so worth every invasive question ever asked. I finally finished his lifebook last year and as a scrapbooker and a mom it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. His lifebook is his journey. His beginning. His life. I wish I had more information to tell him. Both of my parents were adopted and I feel so blessed that at any time he can turn to his grandparents for questions that he may not want to ask me. This is your journey. Embrace the emotional rollercoaster because it is you. Believe in your heart that this is meant to be and you will be rewarded with something so powerful that you will want to keep it sacred to your heart. I love my baby so much, I don't ever think about the process that it took to get to this point. I pray that his birthmother has comfort to know that her baby is loved and taken care of so much. I wish you well on this time in your life. If you were feeling any differently I would be saddened for you. And on that note, I wish you luck and joy, and peace. Amanda Stoneburner |
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